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Februari (2019) |
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| Inlägg: 35 |
| Kommentarer: 1 |
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I hope u get it now
I really hope u get how much u hurted me and that im never coming back this time. ur messages dont have any magic on me anymore.. they only hurt of the memories i thought was real but showed to be lies. 3.5 years of lies.
so where am i in life now?
2 days ago i found some really nice glasses to have in the apartment + a carpet and some small things. i just keep my fingers crossed that everything will work out just the way i want them to now.
on saturday were going out with the nice boat on the sea; Loran , leandra, me, steve, stephen, joseph, nick + gf :) its suposed to be nice weather so i hope its will be a good day. thinking about bringing some wine too maby :D
4 days left then here... going home on sunday. but i will be back soon.
its amazing what this island and people does to ur mind <3
sweety.. how can u know all the right words? <3
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20 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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Dont wanna go home.
I dont wanna go home on sunday.. i wanna stay here where i feel i have my freespot. Im finally able to sleep in the nights, most of them at least.
yesterday i had a small driving lesson with steve and his father.. steve was going to learn how to parc in a tricky situation with reversing the car. he did very good and after we went to stephens place to watch some movies on his home-cinema in his basement. andrea and matt came to pic us up at around 1 oclock. i feel so sorry for steve who is in school right now, he left at around 06.30 a.m. not so many hours of sleep there.
today will i hopefully send some applicationforms away.. im gonna fill them in with lillian so everything will be correct and good. i might even have a chance for work at the HSBC ( one of the biggest banks here) bec a cousin to steve works there.. ! i will fill in the aplication and just wish for the lord with me on that one ! :)
Baby.. everyday u make me whole, u help me healing my wounds, u take care of me. my heart is bleeding but in time with ur suport will everything go away.. i just know it will. U give me light and warm arms to have around me when the night feels so empty and dark. thanks to u im still floating with my head above the surface <3
to my special ones, u know who u are:
Im gonna miss u so badley when i move down here, but my home is always open for u to come. u dont even have to ask, it will be open even 30 years from now if thats what it takes. just pls dont forget me. <3
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18 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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at Malta
Today is my third day here at Malta.. im so happy.. yesterday me and steve went over to gozo (the third island) and had a really good time. :)
today were maby going shopping for more stuff for the apartment.. its feels more real now when im down here that it will actually happen.
The first thing i saw when i woke up last morning was red roses on my bed :)
so long suckers!
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15 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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puppies2
Today we got puppies, 7 of them :) Cindy (cinderella) or as i call her " the pregnant one" was so amazing. its her first time and she did splended !
Some new life in to this world.
I had to help mum sence 8 this mornig. so no school for me.. or thats not the big reason.. i just cant handle all questions about how i feel and if somethings wrong. i feel like crying all the time but try to stay focused and on track.
Steve thank you for everything.. i know u dont like me being like this but its gonna take time for me.. to lick my wounds. To stop feeling.
But what u do everyday and say really helps me alot.. i dont know what i would do without u . ur a true one, a big suport and i love u for that <3
why do i even care ? i only get hurt the more i get to know, the thing is that u dont get that i read it all.. ive seen u and ur bullshit.
it feels so good to know that moving is not that far away atleast. June is the month im waiting for, start a new life, new oportunitys, fresh start.
Tonight im leaving home for skavsta and Malta. the flight departures at 07.10 tomorrow morning so i have to go from here at about 3 in the night.
with time.. with time will it be ok.. i guess.
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12 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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puppies
Today we got puppies, only 3 are out this far but there is more to come.. im taking a break in between so the bitch wont get irritated or stressed. finally some light at least.
Steve thank you for everything.. i know u dont like me being like this but its gonna take time for me.. to lick my wounds. To stop feeling. Maby i will turn icecold again like before and dont feel anything bec its to much ?
anyway...
Pls stop, i cant take it anymore ...
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12 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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Alone is strong ?
tough luck , u winn what ur loosing.
Some people just have to little to do in their lives, its pathetic.
Didnt u understand when i said "leave me alone", what in that sentence is there to misunderstand?
in my eyes ur just a simple lying shit. u hurted me so compleatley, only in the ways u could do.
i already heard the news about the new girl. good live on.. leave me alone. dont send ur f*cking textmessages to me, leave them for someone who u can still betry and fool.
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11 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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thank u
My melody i live by now.
***********************
I´m out, im closing a chapter.
All in, world full of raptures.
Caught up, its time for the show.
Baby, baby, baby
Tough luck, you win but you losin.
Break out, you be what you chosin
One wish, illusion is this so baby baby baby
You´re at your mind, love is a cover.
This time, your turn is over, its over.
Thank you for all that you done for me,
Now I know for real that we supposed to be.
Cant waste my time so goodbye my baby, baby, baby
Thank you.
Love struck - Its never easy
Came and gone - Just to tease me
Better off - Im living my dream now
Baby, baby, baby
Life hurts - Lies are on the coffer
So Im gone before its over
Thank you for all that youve done for me
Now I know what real love is supposed to be
Cant waste my time so goodbye my baby, baby, baby
Oh-oh-oh
Im better off alone
For all that you have done
Done no one-on-on
And that aint what you got
Thank you for all that youve done for me
Now i know what real love is supposed to be
Cant waste my time so goodbye my baby, baby, baby
Cant waste my time so goodbye my baby, baby
Thank you for all that youve done for me
Now I know what real love is supposed to be
Cant waste my time so goodbye my baby, baby, baby
Thank you
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10 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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now i know
now i know how false and meen people can be. we really live in a sick world where the one u trust the most are in fact the most untrustworthy.
U really broke me down once and for all now, i hope ur satisfied bec no one could do it like u did.
Now i dont have anything left here in tierp, im more then ready to move to Malta. He took away everything that kept me here.
The most hurtful is not what u did, but all the lies that came out from ur mouth and the fact i did belive u.
I kind of feel sorry for her bec u are problably gonna lie to her as much as u did to me, if not worse. I cant belive that u once asked me to move in with u.. was it so u were gonna have some fucking whorenest?
I have found someone .. someone who backs me up and does everything that u never will or have done. someone that doesnt lie or betrey. i wasnt sure of my feelings before but this was the last push i needed.
I had enough, i totally had enough of everything.
i dont know if i will ever be able to trust someone again...
Steve rescue me..
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10 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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U son of a bitch !
I cant belive people who stands infront of u lying in ur face ! But im not gonna stay in this position, im fucking moving on now. You havent done anything but putten me behind shadows.. when i call u up u are ashamed of talking to me, problably bec u have som whore with u. If im not good to u to talk then , then im not good to u ever !
so leave me the fuck alone ! I have decided to follow my head and not heart. Its hard but thats how its gonna be to spare me the pain i would have to relive again. Im not gonna be some marionett-puppet that u can play with how u want.
You false son of a bitch. how could i ever trust u again? u just keep on doing it all the time, what do i knowif u kept on while u said i was the only one ?
over and out ! - fucking whore
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9 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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grey day
The weather was so boring today.. all grey.
then we had dull lessons, i even fell a sleep during the religion !
atleast i got some company on the way home on the train.. and then my fellow diaz gave me a lift home so i idnt have to walk the 300 meters to my house ;)
anyway im counting the days to go so badley.. and at the same time im so nervous of moving in sumer.. thats why i keep on talking about it all the time.
yeye.. working inviroment and safty test tomorrow at school.. hurray ! :S i have no clue what to study for it.
over and out - humfr?
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7 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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ohh it feels so good.
Today was a good day :)
at first i went to the meeting for personal suporter for a little girl. i was nervous like hell but i got the job ! and the father of the girl was really friendly and understanding, so even the fact that im moving outbroad this sumer wasnt a problem :)
then i put my ass to school, the only lesson i had was to watch a movie about the global effect on nature and inviroment. it was as a prepairing for the lesson with erik on friday .
after that me and mickis went downtown.. i got some euros from my accound and miskis wanted to look on shoes. she found a really nice pair that she will buy later.
then it was the train to tierp and the bus home.. i got some time to talk to steve about everything between sky and earth. u really suport me , i have never had anyone like u before in my life . ur words are like gold <3
and then it headed on to traning, bodypump was on the menu today. ohh it feels so good afterwards u have been using ur muscles really hard. im so tired in my boody but bloody hell it feels good !
Mum is getting puppis any day now.. Cindy is breathing hard and u can see there is some things moving inside her belly :) i just hope she will get them before i go now to malta. ohh 6 days left btw ;D
Over and out - man life can feel really good sometimes :D
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6 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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energy .
thats something i really dont feel that i have at the moment.. u know when everything wants to just slip through ur fingers. u cant really figure it out what to do and u dont feel like there is any energy to do it eather. u just feel empty.
but i gotta shape up now, both in mind and body.. its time for a fresh start, a new beguinning.
sweety u dont know how good ur words feels to hear.. its like pure silk for my mind. u make me wanna go on, keep on fighting and take me forward. ur the light in the tunnel, the strength when i need it the most.
Todays theatreclass was great ! :) so fun.. i just whant to have it all day ! we played games as usually but we had to put up a play for as well. the best was when calle was a chinese (or whatere country) teacher and stated to scream in some chingchong language ^^, *hihi*
our play was about about a geisha and a panda that fell inlove but the geisha couldnt for her pimp (me) so i killed the panda (anton). ;D
the other swedisg lesson sucked big time .. we are gonna have test and i have no clue whats so ever to what im gonna study on to it :S
any way .. i have so much things to do in that course that im starting to think i wont make it :S :/
7 days left now for malta.. im so looking forward to it <3
over and out - what doesnt kill u make u stronger
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5 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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ohh my gosh
Im so tired right now that i cant belive it!
Today after school i went to my partner in crime Mickis place.. we made some cake for tomorrows theatreclass (everyone who has her/his mobile on and someone calls on it during the lesson has to bake something to next lesson)
after that my derest K.b came to pic me up for boxingtraining ! ohh my gosh ! i cant even wright good right now.. still shaking ! and tomorrow there is bodystep on Aktivera (the trainingcentre). how am i gonna survive? :O
Beach 2008 here i come ;) (the pic is gonna be me ;D ) ->
Anyway.. On wednesday there is the meeting for my new temporary work, i hope it will turn out good.
Miss you guys on malta, everyone of u ! <3 its gonna be so nice to see you all again the 13th ! btw thank u nick for picking me up, really apri :)
some pics are uploaded but only made some, more is to come :)
over and out - elvis has left the building!
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4 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 0 kommentar
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rookie
Yes, so i ended up here then as my other fellows !
Im going to use this one even for my outbroad friends so its gonna be written in english. this is even for my homefriends to see whats up in my life when i leave sweden in summer.
So whats up? hmm.. im going to malta again the 13th to the 24th of feb to fix and prepaire more things.
Its alot to do but i hope we will make it. im going to start putting down things there now. this time its cloths and half the plates.
im so nervours.. im like starting a new life. i just hope i wont loose contact with my pals home. espec the ones from my class.. what would i be with out u girls ? <3
anyway time to take my ass from the chair and do some good shit today !
over and out - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQQtg_xA0a4
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3 Februari 2008
| Länk
| me my self and i
| 1 kommentar
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